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sabledrake
http://www.peacefire.org/staff/bennett/autodave/
Recently in Port Royal (motto: "Naked Joan Rivers"), residents reported an outbreak of ballcocks. Perhaps you think there are no ballcocks in Port Royal. Perhaps you are an idiot.
As the French say, au contraire (literally: "asshat!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Julie, whose name can be rearranged to spell "JEUIL", although that is not my main point. "Julie", by the way, only has the letters "lie" in in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.
According to a quote which I am not making up, from Port Royal Mayor Cutler Beckett (formally "Mayor Cutler Beckett" and informally "Dude"), ballcocks ranks as a major crisis just behind Navy, ships and ocean (insert your "pistols" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Port Royal government employees:
FIRST PORT ROYAL EMPLOYEE: "nice"
SECOND PORT ROYAL EMPLOYEE: "fartknocker"
FIRST PORT ROYAL EMPLOYEE: "oh hells"
Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Dude, and that is: place a decapitated horse head in George Steinbrenner's bed.
No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's bed, although it might involve throwing used coffe liners at Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "", and de grace, meaning "". The procedure (you may want to write this down):
1. send it to space
2. plunger
But instead the Port Royal city council (motto: "We'll not wipe your tush when you pry the pen out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the ballcocks) will are part of a toilet soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "I heart sheep".
Speaking of which, "The Port Royal Ballcocks Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band.
sabledrakehttp://www.peacefire.org/staff/bennett/autodave/
Recently in Port Royal (motto: "Naked Joan Rivers"), residents reported an outbreak of ballcocks. Perhaps you think there are no ballcocks in Port Royal. Perhaps you are an idiot.
As the French say, au contraire (literally: "asshat!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Julie, whose name can be rearranged to spell "JEUIL", although that is not my main point. "Julie", by the way, only has the letters "lie" in in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.
According to a quote which I am not making up, from Port Royal Mayor Cutler Beckett (formally "Mayor Cutler Beckett" and informally "Dude"), ballcocks ranks as a major crisis just behind Navy, ships and ocean (insert your "pistols" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Port Royal government employees:
FIRST PORT ROYAL EMPLOYEE: "nice"
SECOND PORT ROYAL EMPLOYEE: "fartknocker"
FIRST PORT ROYAL EMPLOYEE: "oh hells"
Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Dude, and that is: place a decapitated horse head in George Steinbrenner's bed.
No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's bed, although it might involve throwing used coffe liners at Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "", and de grace, meaning "". The procedure (you may want to write this down):
1. send it to space
2. plunger
But instead the Port Royal city council (motto: "We'll not wipe your tush when you pry the pen out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the ballcocks) will are part of a toilet soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "I heart sheep".
Speaking of which, "The Port Royal Ballcocks Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band.
